Sweat feels so good!

After having my body rocked by a nasty virus it was so nice to have the sweat pouring down my face this morning.  Lungs are still a little tight but so much better than last week!  Road to recovery time!


Since I completely bailed on my A race for the year, and do not regret it for a second I'm looking around for alternate 10k's.  I am signed up for Melissa's in September but that is not a race to PB on...or maybe it is.  That would be a hard earned PB!  Hmmmm.  Off to ponder.

Grinding to a halt and then getting back in the groove!

Well once the streak ended I took another two weeks to get healthy.  Nasty ass virus!  Now there is a small problem with being too sick to run (or at least having lungs that hate you for it) but not being so sick that you lose your appetite.  So eating well (too well) and not exercising was a recipe for weight gain.  I put back on what I had lost so far this year plus a little bit.  Time to get my butt back in gear.  The running is coming back but the lungs still have a ways to go!

Parenting Wars

A few weeks ago I started a post about competitive parenting and how stupid it is.  It sat in my draft file for a bit and then I deleted it.  This Mom said so much better what I was trying to get at and expands the topic so much more articulately than I ever could have!  I was unable to fully explain why competitive parenting pisses me off so much and this is exactly why.  Formula vs Breastfeeding, working vs stay-at-home, and all the other petty shit means nothing compared to not having a family.

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/05/where-is-mommy-war-for-motherless-child.html

Zoo Trip!

Yesterday I had the fun time (insanity) of helping to chaperone the wee dude's class at the zoo.  It was a fun but exhausting day!


This guy was the speed I was wishing the kids were moving at!

 Mr. Thoughtful!

 Mr. King of the Gorillas

 Such a beautiful bird!

 Playtime!

 Pretty!

 Lunchtime!

6 Months of Streaking!

I can't believe I have ran every day since Dec 1, 2011!  There have been fantastic runs and there have been ass-dragging craptastic runs.  This last week has mostly been the latter.  I have been sick for nearly a week and only the goal of reaching 6 months made me get on that treadmill.  I crossed a line into stupid and with that in mind unless I miraculously wake up healthy tomorrow it will be a rest day.  I am sad to end the streak on a fizzle but honestly would not end it while things were going well so I guess it is inevitable that it ends this way.  I have enjoyed the journey and impressed that I did not get injured this whole time!  


So the final count is:
183 days
893 km 


Longest run:14k
Shorted run: 1 mile
Average run: 4.88km
6 1/2 seasons of Scrubs 
6 seasons of How I Met Your Mother
2 seasons of Reaper
2 seasons of Big Bang Theory 


:)

Shy

Wait am I talking about myself?  Yes I am.  It's true I am actually very shy.  I do not like attention and I do not like to stand out in a crowd.  I am not an attention whore.  But I have a blog?  That is a fundamentally narcissistic endeavor.  At that is true of most blogs and probably a little bit for mine as well.  I still hide here mostly in anonymity.   I have very few readers that know me and I get very little other traffic.  So this is still a safe little haven for me.  I realize what I write is out there for anyone to read but there is much more interesting stuff to read than this out there!  So shy girl has an attention seeking blog...WTF?  So I'm not perfect, get over it.  Also once you meet me I am horrible at holding back, I will make crude comments, swear and generally just be myself regardless.  You might as well know who I am right away then you can decide if you want to stay or leave ASAP.  I do not have any firm boundaries.  I'm just a paradox of a girl.


So why write about being shy in this very public way?  Well, most of you know I struggle with my weight.  I have been trying to lose weight for a long time now (seems like my entire adult life!) and I may lose a bit but it always comes back.  I've been spending some time trying to figure out why and part of it is my shyness.  I don't mind sharing my weight loss with a small group of people I trust but when it comes to more and more people noticing it and commenting on it...well I have a small panic attack.  In fact I have noticed that I breath a sigh of relief when the scale goes back up.  I simply do not like the attention that I get for losing weight.  This is something I have to figure out how to get over!  It's not bad attention, most people are very encouraging and I should be able to say "thanks for noticing my hard work" but it doesn't work that way.  Somehow I feel more invisible behind my weight and only have to come out when I choose.  Attention feels more in my control when I am heavier.  This also feeds into why I love my treadmill...no one sees me run!  Now that I'm getting to know more and more people in my neighbourhood, someone always sees when I go for a run and it freaks me out.  Maybe I should always run in a balaclava?  A few weeks ago a total stranger honked and gave me the thumbs up while I was out running.  Completely threw me off.  I know it was meant as encouragement as I went up a hill but it still made me jumpy.


So how do I deal with this strange facet of my personality.  First off I need to acknowledge that the comments are compliments!  And even if I suspect they are not (there are a couple people that are less than positive in my life) I need to learn to err on the side of optimism and accept it as a compliment.  Second I need to be able to say "thank-you, I am working hard" back.  Mostly of the time I shrug the comments off and say something like "not really, just changing shape".  Screw it, losing weight is hard work and I should say so!  Writing all this down in my jumbled stream of consciousness will help me .  So this little blog is about to get a little batty.  




So lovely readers, when I start losing weight and if you choose to compliment me on it, hold me to saying "Thank-you" because I'm going to start keeping a journal of comments and my reactions to them and then a 3rd column for what a regular person might think :) Ha!  What do I know about regular people?  Maybe tracking my feelings about it will help me to not go back up the scale.  Can't hurt to try!


J

DNS

That was me this morning.  I did not run my 10k race.  Picked up my race number and an hour later started to feel off.  Off quickly turned into full blown nastiness.  Sensitive skin, sore throat, achy body.  Still I was optimistic that it wouldn't last long.  Fool.  By last night the best decision was to give my bib away so I wouldn't do something totally stupid.  This morning I stayed in bed until 11:00 and thanks to the miracle that is Tylenol I feel halfway human.  I still get to put a couple notches on the stupid stick though since I have ran 2k each day just to keep my streak alive.  
Extra bonus is that the person that I gave my bib too ran a 1:05 which was my dream goal.  It's like she was channelling me :)  So thanks Kel for setting that goal in cement for me!!  Now I have to hit that time :)