6 Months of Streaking!

I can't believe I have ran every day since Dec 1, 2011!  There have been fantastic runs and there have been ass-dragging craptastic runs.  This last week has mostly been the latter.  I have been sick for nearly a week and only the goal of reaching 6 months made me get on that treadmill.  I crossed a line into stupid and with that in mind unless I miraculously wake up healthy tomorrow it will be a rest day.  I am sad to end the streak on a fizzle but honestly would not end it while things were going well so I guess it is inevitable that it ends this way.  I have enjoyed the journey and impressed that I did not get injured this whole time!  


So the final count is:
183 days
893 km 


Longest run:14k
Shorted run: 1 mile
Average run: 4.88km
6 1/2 seasons of Scrubs 
6 seasons of How I Met Your Mother
2 seasons of Reaper
2 seasons of Big Bang Theory 


:)

Shy

Wait am I talking about myself?  Yes I am.  It's true I am actually very shy.  I do not like attention and I do not like to stand out in a crowd.  I am not an attention whore.  But I have a blog?  That is a fundamentally narcissistic endeavor.  At that is true of most blogs and probably a little bit for mine as well.  I still hide here mostly in anonymity.   I have very few readers that know me and I get very little other traffic.  So this is still a safe little haven for me.  I realize what I write is out there for anyone to read but there is much more interesting stuff to read than this out there!  So shy girl has an attention seeking blog...WTF?  So I'm not perfect, get over it.  Also once you meet me I am horrible at holding back, I will make crude comments, swear and generally just be myself regardless.  You might as well know who I am right away then you can decide if you want to stay or leave ASAP.  I do not have any firm boundaries.  I'm just a paradox of a girl.


So why write about being shy in this very public way?  Well, most of you know I struggle with my weight.  I have been trying to lose weight for a long time now (seems like my entire adult life!) and I may lose a bit but it always comes back.  I've been spending some time trying to figure out why and part of it is my shyness.  I don't mind sharing my weight loss with a small group of people I trust but when it comes to more and more people noticing it and commenting on it...well I have a small panic attack.  In fact I have noticed that I breath a sigh of relief when the scale goes back up.  I simply do not like the attention that I get for losing weight.  This is something I have to figure out how to get over!  It's not bad attention, most people are very encouraging and I should be able to say "thanks for noticing my hard work" but it doesn't work that way.  Somehow I feel more invisible behind my weight and only have to come out when I choose.  Attention feels more in my control when I am heavier.  This also feeds into why I love my treadmill...no one sees me run!  Now that I'm getting to know more and more people in my neighbourhood, someone always sees when I go for a run and it freaks me out.  Maybe I should always run in a balaclava?  A few weeks ago a total stranger honked and gave me the thumbs up while I was out running.  Completely threw me off.  I know it was meant as encouragement as I went up a hill but it still made me jumpy.


So how do I deal with this strange facet of my personality.  First off I need to acknowledge that the comments are compliments!  And even if I suspect they are not (there are a couple people that are less than positive in my life) I need to learn to err on the side of optimism and accept it as a compliment.  Second I need to be able to say "thank-you, I am working hard" back.  Mostly of the time I shrug the comments off and say something like "not really, just changing shape".  Screw it, losing weight is hard work and I should say so!  Writing all this down in my jumbled stream of consciousness will help me .  So this little blog is about to get a little batty.  




So lovely readers, when I start losing weight and if you choose to compliment me on it, hold me to saying "Thank-you" because I'm going to start keeping a journal of comments and my reactions to them and then a 3rd column for what a regular person might think :) Ha!  What do I know about regular people?  Maybe tracking my feelings about it will help me to not go back up the scale.  Can't hurt to try!


J

DNS

That was me this morning.  I did not run my 10k race.  Picked up my race number and an hour later started to feel off.  Off quickly turned into full blown nastiness.  Sensitive skin, sore throat, achy body.  Still I was optimistic that it wouldn't last long.  Fool.  By last night the best decision was to give my bib away so I wouldn't do something totally stupid.  This morning I stayed in bed until 11:00 and thanks to the miracle that is Tylenol I feel halfway human.  I still get to put a couple notches on the stupid stick though since I have ran 2k each day just to keep my streak alive.  
Extra bonus is that the person that I gave my bib too ran a 1:05 which was my dream goal.  It's like she was channelling me :)  So thanks Kel for setting that goal in cement for me!!  Now I have to hit that time :)

Modifying Goals

2nd 10k of the season is coming up on Sunday.  And while I am not concerned about the endurance I am concerned about the speed.  It's time to modify my goals.  There is not a snowballs chance in hell that I am breaking an hour on Sunday (which is what I wanted to do back in January) and I am okay with that.  I knew it was a huge long shot then and I am not disappointed at all.  Having that goal still got me out doing longer runs and doing speedwork so it was a great motivator.  At the beginning of the month my 10k was 1:11:xx so my first goal is to beat that, my second goal is to beat my time from last year (1:09:xx) and my big if things go perfectly and I have a tailwind for 10k goal is 1:05:xx.  So two realistic goals and one nutbar goal.  That is how I roll :)

Craberella

The sun is shining, my family is awesome and healthy.  I have a pretty fantastic life and yet I am crabby.  It's not an invalid emotion it just doesn't make sense.  There is nothing specific to be crabby about.  There it is though.  It starts with a mild annoyance about something insignificant (like why is there toothpaste smeared on the counter?), sometimes it morphs into losing my patience over nothing (please for the love of all things holy put your shoes on without fighting me about it), which makes me feel guilty for not showing a bit more compassion and understanding...and the day can go to shit from there.  Maybe I can stop it from going that way today.  I've stepped away from the shoes (go barefoot to ride in the car, does it truly matter?) and take a deep breath.  


Then run!

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to my completely amazing husband!  He brings me up when I'm feeling down and keeps me grounded when I'm being a wingnut (and that is frequent).  There is not one person that I would rather share this incredible journey with.


Now you can all stop gagging!


And for a little fun give this a watch:
Warning: *bad language, dark humour, totally inappropriate for children and those with a stick up their ass.  


http://youtu.be/Zn6gV2sdl38

Lesson's Learned

First 10k of the year was this morning and it was rough.  My legs felt like they were full of cement and my ass had a piano tied to it.  I didn't even turn my watch on so have a general idea of time but that is it.  There were lots of walk breaks and the km between 4-5k was the longest km ever!


BUT


The snowflakes were drifting around me in a freakish spring snow storm.  It was beautiful.  I kept on running just in shorter amounts and really it was a good morning!


Now to rethink how to approach the end of May 10k.


Things to work on:
Nutrition-I have not been eating well and it shows.  
Definitely do not eat sushi the day before!  It was so yummy but soya sauce blows me up like a balloon.
Endurance, I can run the distance no problem but not at the pace I want to.  I need to work on running faster more consistently.  


At the end of the day it was a good race with a good friend and that is why I do this running thing.  It's really about the friendships not the numbers!

5 Months

What began as 1 month of streaking has become 5!  How did that happen? 


And this week is going to be a cut back week, I'm limiting myself to a longest run of 5k during the week in anticipation of my first race of the season this week-end!  It's a 10k and I have no worries about being able to do the distance (yay) but I'm wondering if it is worth it to go all out and aim for a pb?  I've hit this point where I have to decide what my goals are.  Do I want to keep streaking or do I want to make some pb's?  It is possible to do both but it will take a lot of self discipline and I'm not sure that I care that much about meeting both to do that.  Like I said in a previous post it's been years since I hit a pb, what is another year?  This might be the only time I attempt to streak.  Once this one is broken I don't see myself taking it back up.  I am enjoying it but at the same time I feel the itch to do something else fitness wise.   


Things to ponder!